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Lex_Driscolli
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Name: Lex_Driscolli
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Metro: Chicago
Gender: Female
Interests: Going to school, hanging out with friends, listening to music, and working toward my dreams and goals.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Television
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  Lexy D R Iscoll
Member Since:
12/24/2004
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| So I just realized that it'll have been a year since my last 2008 post come tomorrow. Shit, this is a little surreal. I never really thought that I'd get to where I am now--then again, I never really planned any of this, it just sort of happened and thank god it happened the way I wanted it to, you know?
Let's see. Instead of working at Kurtis Productions and commuting from home, I'm living in an apartment with a bunch of guys that I'm acquainted with, paying my own way, and working a few different jobs to get said money. I was head over heels for Jason last summer, talking to him constantly, but this year I decided to take a break for me and though we still love each other and want to be together, it'll happen in time. I just have to learn to give it that time, otherwise we'll screw ourselves over. I've grown to love photography, and I bought a bike to ride back and forth between the smoothie stand--starting that in June though, my T Pass still hasn't expired. Marissa's graduating from high school and going to GW, I'll be starting my junior year at BU and (hopefully) studying abroad in the spring. Josh and Tyler are still my best friends back home, and I've lost touch with others over the years. I've met new people at school and developed deeper relationships with older friends--or drifted further away because it's better to have friends that you want to hang out with instead of just hanging out with them for the sake of not feeling alone. I'm listening to a lot more RnB and Rap, but the good stuff--and the Top 40, too, I can't help it! I want so many things for myself this summer and I hope I can achieve them all and more. I just really have to stick with it and know what I need to do before I get to "my place"--I'll know it when I get there, and that's when I'll feel as secure as I can, where I can be with Jason and not completely freak out every single time we aren't talking or worry he's met someone else, where I can be free and be fine on my own. That's all I want. To be fine on my own.
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| So it's about 10:49PM EST on a Thursday night. I'm sitting amidst boxes in the second dorm room of my college career. My roommate's left to visit family before returning for the summer, other friends are finishing up finals and leaving soon for home or internships in other cities. As for me? I'm staying in Boston----
Ooops, Sarah just called from New York and apparently she met Annie Leibovitz!! Talk about a lucky break, she's only one of the greatest photographers ever for Vogue.
Anyway, I'm staying in Boston this summer and working for BU doing some Video Production Assistant gig for the Long Distance Education Center and I'm also serving smoothies in Boston Commons. I'm basically working 7 days a week give or take so I'll be really busy but hopefully not overly so, otherwise I might have to cut back a bit. The pay's going to be great though! And beside getting help from my parents in the beginning I'm paying them back and continuing to pay my own way over the summer, which I'm pretty excited about. There's something to be said for paying your own way when you can--it's very liberating so long as you have a little extra left over.
Well, I should be doing a lot of things right now but instead I'm writing on here and contemplating the current boy issue. Jason and I---aren't together anymore, basically, on my call. I decided I need to be me and not me+(insert name here) for the first time in a while, not to mention the distance was killing me. I still love him, I always will, and even though we might get back together I'm not holding onto that as a final solution to this. This decision was for me and by me, and I'll continue to think like that until I'm comfortable with being by myself.
Back to this guy. He's cute, smart, fit, etc.--I just don't know if I want him to "entertain" me like he joked about in his text. I mean, my last final is tomorrow and I don't have anything else going on beside hanging out with Molly and Jen, grabbing dinner and having celebratory drinks. I think it's my inner gut telling me that I need to play my cards close to the chest because apparently this kid's a bit of a player and I have a tendency to get attached. Actually that hasn't happened lately because I've been very aware of the fact that I don't want that to happen-that was the reason I left Jason in the first place, and why would I just shack up with someone else instead? It just doesn't make sense. Then again, why do I still miss him and feel like part of that gut instinct is due to the fact that I want him to be the one that I'm seeing tomorrow? Of course I still care for him, but I've never once thought that I wanted to be with him again. I mean, I have, but under very different circumstances that are basically impossible at this point in both our lives.
Whew. I think too much. I'll go out, hang with Molly and Jen and if I end up at Steve's place so be it--if not, I've made him wait long enough, I'm sure he won't mind the extra day haha.
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| Wow. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see the weekend. Unfortunately I couldn't sleep past 8am this morning-it's what happens when you've been waking up at 7am for the past week and then getting to bed by 11pm at the very latest.
Work's been going great thus far-I'm sure I'll get used to it at some point but because it's all new, I'm savoring my happy feelings for as long as possible. It's not that I won't be happy come June or July, I think it just might come to a point that it'll all get a little more monotonous than it is now. Until that point, every day is a different discovery, and a nice break from what I would be doing otherwise. Mostly I've been logging tapes for the Yosemite project, and now I have a partner-in-crime. Jessie started work yesterday and despite appearances, she is one of the nicest, coolest girls I've met in a while. I'm "good people," according to her, so I'll try to keep it that way. She invited me to her family's barbecue tonight, which should be really fun. Then again, before that I'll have to go to Marissa's prom picture get-together. It's awkward for me considering the idea that, if Marissa had been in the same grade as me, she probably wouldn't have liked me and would have been friends with the kids who didn't like me. For good reason, I suppose. I was an idiot, an idiot who opened their mouth and made mistakes one too many times to count. Hopefully I can suck it up and put it behind me for my sister and leave it at that. No, I am going to suck it up because I am older and much more mature than most of the people that will be in attendance and I've learned enough to do just that.
Anyway, enough of that. This weekend is going to be a nice break from the craziness of work, and a good resting period before the true craziness starts. Because there are so many freelance producers on shoots right now the office is extremely quiet, but I think by the end of next week/beginning of the following week it should be absolutely zany. As much as I hate chaos I live for it-it pushes me to places I normally wouldn't go----
Bugger my mom wants to take me shopping now. Toodles!
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| So this is going to be a great summer. Tiring but great. I honestly can't wait to see what other projects I'm going to be working on--the work is just grunt work, mostly research and the like, but the fact that I get amped about the little stuff shows me it'll only get better once the rest of the producers start to trickle in with actual footage.
The highlight of the past two days was definitely meeting Bill Kurtis and eating lunch with some of the other people working at KP. Bill's one of the nicest, most amicable people I have met and it's just too cool that he's going to be hanging around for most of the summer in the office. Hopefully I'll be able to sit down with him at one point and pick his brain. Eating lunch with Kurt, Dave, and Jordan was great too, just because I felt like I found a little niche but also I got to watch Slamball! It incorporates trampolines into a regular game of basketball, coupled with the defense in hockey and football games mid-air.
One thing I need to make sure of is to relax and not focus too much on work all the time--it's always good to get into it but when it comes down to the end result, you need to have good relationships with the other people in the office and not have frozen them out from the start because you were too busy covering your ass.
I'm off to bed--I've realized I need to get to bed by 11pm or else all is lost; in reality I should be getting to bed a little earlier, but it's just one of those things.
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| Well I think from now on I might use this blog as a record of my totally amazing internship with Bill Kurtis Productions on 400 West Erie in Chicago OMGGG!!! It would be nice to keep memories of my first real internship in the industry somewhere, so why not on the World Wide Web? But honestly I want to remember this and continue remembering. "Bridget Jones's Diary" definitely sparked my determination to do it-great movie by the way. As for now I'm just hanging out talking to Jason online-I miss him like crazy but I know I won't have as much time to think about how much I miss him during the week, which is always good.
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